I can't stay at my desk

I have no idea why I can't stay at my desk today. Yes I can. I am bored to tears!! Doc review is NOT the truth. Just call me the Roaming Gnome.

Jill Scott Knows What She's Talking About

I - don't want to -
Go to work today -
I 'd rather - Stay home - And play - video games- I wanna chill
But I gotta get upI gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta gotta get up (repeat 1x)
Get up
I don't want to go to work today I'd rather stay home and play video games
I'd rather chill for real
I don't know how you feel
But sometimes I feel like I'm
Workin' for nuthin' tryin' to get sumthin'
Every where I turn there's a bill standing out
Swim the river climb the hill
Complacency you ain't gone get me no no no no

That is why it is 8:53 and I am sitting with my fro in a towel trying to figure out what I'm going to wear today. Jill Scott will definitely be in heavy rotation on the iPod today. C'mon weekend!! BTW, I'm going to be watching My Life on the D List tonight. Both Mookie and Glib Gurl are raving about it. I must see what all the hype is about.

Florida = happiness

Hi, all. I've returned. I went home for the weekend to see my parents and relax from the craziness of my life. We got a bit of rain from the hurricane, but not too much. Although I didn't relax as much as I could have (my mom sent my sister and I to Sarasota to pick up her car from the mechanic and my dad had his knee scoped so he was gimpy (but adorable) all weekend. I had a good weekend though. I refrained from buying anything (it was hard but having my sister as a personal shopper is so serious), I got new glasses (very cute) and hung out with my peeps. I also learned that friendships change and grow and that I shouldn't feel guilty about not seeing people who don't take the time to see me when I'm home. The Sensation and SD told me that people should be making the effort to see me because I'm the one who is in town for a limited amount of time so I shouldn't bend over backwards to get to everyone. I agree. I hung out with SD and DS which was fabulous and relaxing as always. BTW- I have to give a shout out to SD who has dropped 40 pounds and looks FABULOUS. A big "you go girl" to her. She is my she-ro and an inspiration for me to keep doing the WW thing. All in all, a great weekend and I'm back to fight another day.

Joy joy joy!

As I told SW this morning, I'm fleeing DC for safer territory. I am leaving on a jet plane today at 3pm to see my parents. They think it is funny because I hate my job so every couple of months I just make a prison break and go home. It's nice. They have probably seen me more this year than they did through all 3 years of law school. I'm excited.

Monday

So I ended up leaving my house yesterday. The Sensation and I went to Mookieam's house. I was there for the company and to watch the Law & Order Marathon. The Sensation was there to fix Mookie's computer which had been afflicted with some strange virus. It was fun. We had chinese food, chocolate covered strawberries and watched the Discovery Channel after the L&O marathon was over. While watching the Discovery Channel we talked about all kinds of random animal facts. Mookie really likes the Bongo. Which is some kind of antelope. We also talked about how hippos are really violent creatures who will kill other animals that get in their way. Polar bears are the only animals that kill for sport and chimpanzees will actually go to war with other chimpanizee colonies. Weird. Happy Monday to you all!

Weekend of Happiness

After a crazy cranky week, I took my friend mookieam's advice and took some time for me. I turned off the ringer, gathered my netflix movies and centered my chi. Friday night, the Sensation and I went to this HOT place called The Meeting Place. It was really nice. Very laid back, karaoke and music. It wasn't the same old spot like Zanzibar or H20. The men were respectful (no getting run up on from behind), the service was decent and the karaoke was great (TQN broke it down!!). I will definitely be making a return visit. Saturday, the Sensation and I slept until about 4pm. We slept in, got up and ate, I talked to my Mom for a bit, then we went back to sleep. I left my house and went to Sam's Warehouse then came back, watched a movie and went back to sleep. Today I rolled out of bed at around 10ish, and transplanted myself to the couch where I watched The Transporter (Jason Statham is HOT!), sent a wedding gift to my girl who is getting married in November (my broke ass can't make the wedding), balanced my checkbook, signed the Sensation and I up for a salsa class, and I am now considering going back to sleep. The Law & Order SVU marathon comes on soon and I want to be well-rested. Maybe not, The Avitar is on Nickelodeon (yes, I watch Nickelodeon...so?). In any event, I don't plan on leaving my apartment today. I'll emerge tomorrow, well rested and hopefully happier than I have been.

I'se Free

Leaving the office in the middle of the afternoon is wonderful. Everyone should do it at least once.

Thursday morning, 7:21am

Do you guys remember that episode of the Cosby Show when Claire is just burnt out and she keeps telling Cliff that she has nothing left to give so he arranges her to go a cabin in the woods that ends up having no heat? (I know what was a run-on sentence and I don't care) I feel like Claire. I have nothing left to give. I need a cabin, not in the woods I don't like nature, but somewhere that isn't here. I'm spent.

Count Your Blessings

I just read a blog that made me absolutely irate. I'm sorry but I don't want to hear about how horrible it is at the big firms. To all you big firm folks I really don't care about your firm malaise or the horrible billable hours that you have to work. I have said it once and I will say it again...AT LEAST YOU HAVE A PERMANANT JOB! While I realize that most folks don't like their jobs, at least you "firm folks" are getting paid quite well to do substantive work while there is a whole subculture of contract attorneys who are doing work that a trained monkey could do. Yes, contract attorneys. We are the people who went to the same schools that you did, some of us made better grades than you did, yet we don't have jobs. There are a lot of us. No one told us about contract work in law school, that was the dirty little secret that didn't get out. They told you about the big firm jobs, you knew what you were signing up for. Frankly, I really don't care that you are holed up in your office hiding from the partners. At least you have an office. Your secretary fucked up your time? At least you have a secretary. You spilled barbecue sauce on yourself at the firm function? At least you get invited. I can't even eat in the attorney dining room, I am relegated to the "staff cafeteria." I am tired of the sympathetic looks from the "firm folks," I'm tired of the "it will be okay, you will find something" conversations and most of all, I am tired of hearing about how horrible firm life is. If it is that deep why don't you trade places with me and I will go and take over your cushy office, your secretary and your malaise and you can become a contract attorney. The red-headed stephild of the attorney world. I graduated, I passed the bar and I busted my ass, yet I get a table, a computer and millions of documents to go blind looking at while I get paid about half of what my big firm counterparts are getting paid. So the next time you want to complain about how horrible your firm job is, think twice, count your blessings and shut up!

Get this Money

So, I rolled in to work this morning just surly that I had to be here. My very good friend SW helped me to remember that I am working as a means to an end. There are very few people who really like their jobs and if you are one of those fortunate people, I envy you. I work because I have to, I'm too much of a princess to sleep outside (I won't go camping so being homeless is not an option) and as my dad loves to tell me, I have champagne tastes. So I'm here, I'm trying to be positive and per the suggestion of SW, listening to "Get this Money," because that is what I'm here to do. I just hope that one day I'll have a job that I like and even if I don't like it, I just want a job that I'm not dreading coming to every day.

It's a Beautiful Day

U2 had it right. Today has been a pretty good day. Granted, I'm still at work and it is Monday, but I actually got in the office at a decent hour and the scale told me that I am down 5 pounds!! That kind of makes me feel vindicated after the mortifying experience of yesterday. You know I sent the Sensation an email right after I hopped off the scale. The sun is shining, it is not hellishly hot and the folks at work have left me alone. I hope the rest of the week goes this well.

A Very Rude Awakening

So we had a very nice time and L&J's housewarming get-together and I woke up this morning feeling very content. The Sensation and I lounged around talking about what kind of wedding we would want and who would be there etc. (okay, we aren't get married any time soon, this was just talk) I get up to get myself ready to leave and he asks, "have you gained weight?" I was flabbergasted. I mean, to his defense, he didn't say it in a hurtful way, more of an inquiry and I think when he saw the look on my face and realized what he said he was immediately apologetic but damn y'all. If the man is discussing wedding plans with me it is obvious he loves me but DAMN Y'ALL!! I'm not sure if I can talk to the Sensation today, my feelings have been a bit hurt and while I know he didn't mean to hurt me on purpose, it doesn't change the fact that they are. I think I need some "me" time today.

Party Over Here!!

Okay, I'm mindlessly doing nothing and it feels great. I talked to my parents, went to Target and cleaned my bathroom. I sat down with a huge glass of water in the hopes that I would drink it all (WW- gotta get my water in, but I feel like I'm going to float away) and turned on the TV. I was bored so I'm flipping through channels and stop on BET, yes, I know a shame BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS ON??? Ghost Town DJ's "My Boo." I'm sorry but that was a throwback to my youth- I want to say junior or senior year of high school. I had to get up, sweatpants and all and do a little sumthin' sumthin' in my living room. I'm sure Fiji the one-eyed wonder was like, "my human has gone crazy," but I had to break it down. Whatever, you know you would have danced too :)

Sunbeam, stop tugging me

Okay, I'm at work, listening to Frou Frou and trying to resist the urge to break out some glowsticks and start dancing on my desk. I've decided that I'm going to postpone starting the revolution because it is Friday and I'm excited about that! Although, later I'm going to a going away party for RL. I'm quite sad about that. I am dressed in all black and I might have to wear an armband for 30 days. RL got me through 3 years of law school, bar studying, unemployment and temp work with lots of laughs and support. Any man who will let me sleep on his futon while I'm cutting class is a prince among men. He will be missed.

Okay, a little riled this morning. I'm listening to NPR and they are doing a story on the Watts riots of 1965. (Today is the 40 year anniversary of the riots). Do you know that the former police chief of the LAPD had the nerve to call the people who were rioting idiots?? Okay, now tearing up your neighborhood in response to the pressures of life is not the smartest thing to do, but in the words of Chris Rock, "I'm not saying that it's right, but I understand." First of all, we all know the LAPD's record when it comes with dealing with the community. After dating a cop for a year, I know how some of them think. You KNOW people's rights were and still are being violated every day. Second of all, I can totally understand the despondency and frustration of people who can't find jobs. I am college educated and have a freakin' JD and I can't find a job. I can't imagine what I would feel like if on top of unemployment, I was harassed by the police every other day. There are days when I feel like starting the revolution. It has been 40 years the police are still acting crazy, people are still unemployed and very little has changed. *Sigh* Maybe I'll start the revolution tomorrow.

More goats, an evil cat and the quest for a job continues

I know I know I know. I have a problem with the goats ,but I just couldn't resist. My friend sent me this article and it made me giggle. I will hold off on the goats for a while after this, but THEY CROWNED THE GOAT KING!!! I love it. Speaking of regal animals, why does Fiji always act like I live with him instead of the other way around? He acts like he pays rent. I got home tonight and he gave me the stankest look when I went to sit on my couch, rolled his one good eye and stalked off to the kitchen. Five minutes later he came back, bit me on my ankle and ran into the closet. Sometimes I don't get cats. What I also don't get is the little El Salvadorian man who sits on the steps outside my apartment every night and talks on the phone until 11 or 12 at night. The Sensation says I should call the police or the leasing office, but the man isn't really causing a disturbance worthy of calling the police, it is just a little odd. Well, Law & Order is ending which reminds me that I must go and fulfill my self-imposed goal of applying to at least one job per day. If I don't have a job after 3-6 months I will consider myself a non-practicing lawyer and go join the circus.

the goats are at it again

I just listened to this story about feral goats and how they are jacking up the Galapagos Islands. Gotta love NPR and how they keep me updated on what the goats of the world are doing. In other news, I have been put on a 6 month shopping moratorium by my sister. The plan is that she is going to come up in January and be my personal shopper, but I mustn't buy anything until then. We'll see how it goes.

I don't wanna grow up

It is 8:24. I'm in my pyjamas, I'm drinking a diet coke and seriously considering if I'm going to work or not. Of course I'm going, I'm an adult now and I just have to suck it up and take it . I'm seriously with Geoffrey the Giraffe on this. I want to be a Toys R' Us Kid again. Being a grown-up is NOT the truth!!

A Sigh of Relief

Contrary to what you may believe about yourself, merely having succeeded through law school-last week, last year or 20 years ago-tells the world you are a competent, intelligent and responsible person who attains goals you set for yourself. You're someone who commands respect.

For some of you, this notion may come as a shock. Rather than feeling successful, you feel like a failure because:

1. You didn't graduate at the top of your class 2. You didn't get an invitation to join a highly rated law firm 3. You aren't now practicing law in a prestigious firm 4. You haven't found a job within the legal profession 5. You didn't recognize the signs that you were going to be laid off 6. You aren't a super-lawyer, super-parent and super-person 7. You can't imagine practicing law for the rest of your life 8. You can't seem to get your work done, or done right 9. You don't love your work.

Don't assume because your law school classmates earned better grade, or because they now win more cases, earn more money, or look forward to their work-day while you dread yours, that you have failed. That fatalism is counterproductive. Other lawyers' success and satisfaction are only signs that they are in the right place and you're not. You are a bright accomplished person whose feelings of failure and frustration will vanish when you move to an environment more suited to your strengths and interests. - What Can You Do With a Law Degree, Deborah Arron

HOT DAMN! That describes exactly what I was feeling. Who knew that others have gone through the same type of anxiety about this job stuff. Those of you who are thinking that law is just not it for you should check out this book. I'm only on page 20, but it really makes me feel good that people know exactly how I feel.

Rant

Why? Why? Why? I don't understand. We have done everything right. They said go to college. We went. They said go to grad school. We went. We struggled, cried and raved through grad school. We studied, lost hair and finally on that fateful day graduated. We then took the bar exam or whatever other professional exam we were required to take. Some of us repeated this experience more than once. Now, why is it that those of us who actually landed jobs hate them and the rest of us are scrambling for the shitty jobs?

Now you might be wondering what brought on this rant. I have been applying like a madwoman for jobs. I found one that looked decent. They called me for an interview but I wasn't home, so they left a message. Of course, I'm psyched because I'm trying to get out of the pit of hell that I work in now. I call back, leave a message that I'm interested and proceed to do some research on the firm. In the process of my research I find that the man who is supposed to interview me has ties to terrorists. I proceed to do more research and find that the only references to the firm involve more references to terrorists. The sad thing is that I actually considered it for a split second. *Sigh* Back to the drawing board.

I'm back

Back from vacation early. Long story, 'nuff said.

I have arrived

Okay, so I've arrived in Canada and all who I've emailed know how things are going. If I haven't emailed you I'll give a quick recap. I went to Caribbana for about 2 hours and saw the festivities. I kind of wish I would have stayed a bit longer, but whatever. I can come back next year. I think that living alone has kind of ruined me for living with large families that aren't my own. It is a bit hard to have "me" time here. I love my friend Josefina and her husband Eduardo, but they are kind of aggravating because they are uberaffectionate. I understand a kiss here and a some hand-holding there, but it is getting a tad bit uncomfortable. I don't know if I am jealous because my Sensation isn't on vacation with me or what, but I find myself stifling the urge to scream "get a room" every half and hour or so. Oh well, I'm not at work and I only have 6 days left. *sigh* I'll keep you all posted.