Effectuating Change

Okay, a couple posts ago I was talking about how I didn't have a real job, I wasn't a size 10 and I didn't own anything. Today I took a step toward at least one of those goals. I went to a Weight Watchers meeting and joined again. Yes, I said again. My relationship with Weight Watchers started the summer before my junior year in college. I joined and dropped 35 pounds in one summer. I was hardcore. I was at the gym twice a day and I was eating lots of fresh fruit and carrots. It worked, but the minute I stopped going to meetings I gained the weight back. I went back again the summer after I graduated from college and lost a bit of weight and managed to look cute when I went to law school. It has been downhill from there. I've been doing things in fits and starts for the past three years. It was really nice to get back to a meeting. I tried doing things online for a while, but it really didn't help. I think I need to actually go sit in at a meeting, get on a scale in front of someone else and get encouragement from other members. So it begins again. I realize it is going to be a slow rough process. I have about 80 pounds to go and now that I'm older, I know it isn't just going to melt away. It took a good while to put on and I'm sure it is going to take that much longer to come off. I think I'm just going to have to take it one week at a time. Day 1 is going okay. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.

Plodding

This morning when I was walking to the metro I realized I was plodding. I was wearing my sensible comfortable shoes and I was plodding. Then I realized I am plodding through life. I am incredibly bored and unfulfilled at my current job, I'm tired all of the time and I just want to curl up and sleep for days on end. I no longer get looked at by younger men, just the old men who look at sensible shoes and child bearing hips and run for the Viagra. I'm not even looking for a man, but it is nice to be noticed by someone under the age of 55. The Sensation thinks that all of this is related to my present job, and I think he might be right, but how can my misery with one job seep into every corner of my life? Now, I realize that I am the only one who can effectuate change in my life and I'm working on it, I just wanted to voice what is going through my mind this morning.

Musings of the Morning

1. Staying up until 2 am watching the first season of Grey's Anatomy and waking up for spinning class at 4:35 am was not a good idea.

2. Immigration- While listening to NPR on my drive in this morning I heard an illegal immigrant say that he had a right to be in this country because he had a house. WHAT? Umm, no one told him to cross the border under cover of darkness with no papers. I'm sorry but the only people who have a right to be here, are those who came here legally. My parents and countless others have done it, why can't they?

3. People from Maryland can't drive. I almost got hit twice on the way to work by folks with Maryland plates. Not a good thing, the way I feel this morning I might be liable to give the Bmore girls a run for their money.

4. My 10th year high school reunion is coming up. Damn, I'm old. Why haven't I done anything of value yet? I don't have a real job, I am not a size 10 and I don't own anything tangible. I guess I need to get it together.

Weekend

This weekend was wonderful. Saw Da Vinci Code with The Sensation, cleaned a lot, met SM's friend, went out on Friday with JS and company and had a good weekend. The Sensation relented and decided that he would be willing to move to Virginia, which made my weekend. A good time was had by all. I wish SW would come back from Ireland, I miss her. Random thought: I want to go to St. Tropez and Italy. My sister is headed to Italy again this summer. One summer I'll go with her. Anyway, have a good week all.

P.S. Could everyone please keep Mela in your thoughts and prayers? She is going through a rough time right now.

I wear comfortable shoes because chivalry is dead.

Grey's Anatomy

Season finale was last night. I'm still reeling from it. This show is by far, the best show since the Cosby Show. Any show that has you on your couch in the fetal position with tears streaming down your face is a keeper. I can't wait for next season.

In other news, I've returned from my parents' house and the weekend was glorious. I succeeded in suprising my mom, got some shopping in and learned how to make crepes (thanks to my sister). Oh well, the fun times can only last for so long. I have returned to my reality.

Home

I'm headed home for the weekend to surprise my mom for Mother's Day. I have been home about once a month for the past year and a half. My immediate response is to go home when I'm feeling sad and my parents always welcome me with open arms. I know some people who have gone home and their childhood room has been turned into a home gym or a sewing room. I know that my parents would never do that to me. No matter where they move, I will have a place to stay when I come home. That being said, I'm off to warmer temperatures and happier environments. Ciao!

My Circle of Friends

In the past month, I have realized that my circle of friends has narrowed significantly in the past year. I was talking to my mom about it about two weeks ago and she said that this is normal. According to my very wise mom, as you grow older you tighten up your core of friends into those few people that you would call "if shit jumps off" (my words, not my mom's). I guess shit jumping off can range from a breakup with a significant other to more major things like a death in the family or a debilitating disease. In thinking about this, I can count on one hand the people who I would call to bolster me in a time of need. I used to be on the phone all the time, now I really don't talk to very many people other than the Sensation and my parents. The core folks usually hear from me once a week or so. Now I'm sure part of this is due to email. I think I may have replaced my phone time with email time. I'm at work all day and I am extremely bored so I email friends about what is going on with them instead of talking on the phone. Sitting in a room full of people isn't conducive to talking. It is interesting because I don't particularly miss having a million people to talk to everyday, I'm just very interested in the phenomenon of the changes in one's core of friends. I guess this is all a part of getting older. You see things about yourself and in others that alter your perception of them which in turn, alters your friendship. Interesting.

Apartment

I am moving. I have decided that I must get out of my apartment. The kids are out of control and I need more space. The Sensation and I have decided that we are going to move in together so we need more space. Why is it that there are no affordable houses in the DC Metro area that don't have vermin or are located in Southeast or both?

iPods are the Crack of the new millennium

Can I just say how much I love this little sign? A friend of mine sent it to me and I find it hilarious! I've been having random thoughts about running a 5K in February. My mom does the Gasparilla race every year and I'm kind of thinking of doing it with her. Training for the run would be a good reason for me to take my ass to the gym and I kind of want to know what it feels like to finish a race. I mean 5K is 3.2 miles. If I dropped some poundage and trained I could probably run 3.2 and not die. I'll have to think on this some more.

In other news, my iPod died on the plane back from Vegas. I tried to resuscitate it to no avail. The past two days have been horrible. There has been a lot of rocking and shaking involved. I'm not sure how it happened, but I have become addicted to my iPod. I thought that I could go a couple of days without it and just pray that it would come back to me, but nothing happened and I started getting antsy. I bought one this evening and the jitters have gone away and I have stopped rocking. Clearly, the iPod is like crack. One day without it and you will do almost anything to get it back.

Things I learned in Vegas

1. I am happy I have melanin. Old, wrinkled and pale does not belong in a bikini, speedo or anything that shows 80% of your skin.

2. You can go to Vegas and not gamble.

3. You must go to a show while you are in Vegas. I didn't and now I'm sad.

4. Go to Vegas with your significant other at least once. I missed The Sensation IMMENSELY.

5. Wear comfy shoes.

6. Stay at the Bellagio (shown here) you will get EXCELLENT service and a great bed.

7. Vegas attracts all kinds. People watching is hysterical in Vegas.

8. NEVER go to Vegas when you are sick. The flight will suck and you will be sad.

9. When you return, you will be happy to be home.