The Ramblings of Nana

Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday

2010-05-16T19:30:00.002-04:00

Marriage.Is. Hard. That is the stuff that they don't tell you when they are talking about the "happily ever after." It is hard work. Every day you have to wake up and make the decision that you want to be married and you are willing to work at it. Now, I love the Haitian Sensation and I cannot imagine my life without him...but there are times when I just want to shake him. Today is one of those days. I love him dearly, but we are in two different rooms and I have MJB in heavy rotation. Tomorrow will be a better day.

She's BAAAACK!

2010-05-09T11:34:00.003-04:00

Hello beautiful people!

I have returned. It has been about two years since I have blogged and wow, what a two years it has been! I got engaged, got a part time job, planned a wedding, got married to the Haitian Sensation on April 25, 2009, quit the part time job and have recently gotten a new (and improved) full-time job. Now that my life has calmed down a bit, I have really started to think about what I want the rest of my life to look like. Lately, I've been thinking about self-worth.

I really love Amy Tan's Joy Luck Club. I've probably read the book 4 or 5 times and I've seen the movie a few times as well. I always reread/rewatch the part where An-Mei is talking about how a person needs to know her worth. In the past few weeks, I have been talking to various friends about this concept. It seems as though so many of us don't know our worth. Because we aren't a certain size or a certain man doesn't find us attractive or our boss is overly critical or our skin is a shade too light or dark, we immediately devalue ourselves. We have to stop this! We are smart, funny, witty, educated people. We deserve to be happy and healthy and reap all of the wonderful benefits that are in store for us. This starts with knowing your self-worth and what you will and will not stand for. Love yourself, because if you don't, no one else will.

Please Hang Up and Dial Again...

2008-03-26T20:44:00.003-04:00

Lately, I have not really felt like answering the phone. It is not a good look, I know. The phone rings and I don't really care. Maybe it is because I'm just not really pressed to get to the phone and if folks can't leave a message, I guess whatever they have to say isn't that important. I know that just sounds horrible but I have been trying to make a lot of phone calls when I'm in the car, but once I talk to my parents I'm home and the phone gets turned off. I'm usually just so tired when I walk through the door that don't feel like talking to anyone. Once I get on the phone (if I get on the phone) I have great conversations. It is just picking up the phone. I have a ton of people that I need to call, but...I'm just tired. I will do try to do better.

Hello Again

2008-03-22T16:01:00.002-04:00

Well hello there! Okay, yes I've been gone for a lot time but I'm back! A lot has happened in these past few months. I'll start with the big news. I got engaged! Yes, the Haitian Sensation popped the question on the Spirit of Washington on February 15th (I'm very happy that he wasn't all cliche and waited for the day after Valentine's Day). We have no clue what kind of wedding we want, but I'm hoping we can hash all of that out in the next month so we can get this planning party started. Along with stressing about the wedding, I'm also stressing a little bit about the fact that in a year I am going to have to be in somebody's wedding dress. Which means unless I want to be wearing a dress with sleeves (you know those sleeves that I'm talking about- the ugly itchy lace ones that they always put the big girls in), I'm going to have to hit he gym and hit it hard and often, but I will freak out about that in another post. Other than the engagement and my extreme excitement about the fact that Spring is coming, nothing big has really happened. Oh wait, I lied. I got a new car. The B3 is being picked up by Melwood on Monday and I am zipping around in a very cute and gas efficient Toyota Corolla. I bought it from my sister, who was very good to it, and I am over the moon. No more spending 60+ dollars to fill up my gas tank. Okay, that is all from here. I am off to figure out a plan to get The Sensation roped into wedding planning. More on that later.

My Neck, My Back

2008-01-15T19:39:00.000-05:00

No, I'm not alluding to that horrible song by Khia, I'm talking about the fact that my WHOLE BODY hurts. Okay, first let me extend my apologies for not posting in ages. I've been busy and sleepy. I hope everyone had a good holiday season and 2008 is treating everyone well. Now, back to my aching body. This year my goal is to take care of me and go to the gym more and eat right. (Notice I didn't say lose weight, if I do that in the process ((which I know I will)), I'm happy). So, to that end I've dedicated myself to going to the gym at least 5 times a week. I've also added some weight-lifting to the mix and I am quite sore. I'm seeing more definition in my legs and my body feels stronger, but the pain is still constant. I guess they say no pain no gain, but damn, when will it stop hurting??

Hmmm, what else to recap? The new job is great, my boss is great and all of my co-workers ROCK! The Sensation is good and the weight loss journey continues. I have some questions though. Why do I keep seeing albinos? I've seen 3 in the past two days. How can I win the lottery so I can work because I like my job, not because I'm broke? How do you say, "you have the wrong numbers, stop calling me" in Spanish. Someone in California keeps calling my cell phone and they don't speak English so telling them that they have the wrong number hasn't bee working. Thoughts?

Thanksgiving at Home

2007-11-24T20:48:00.000-05:00

Last week I decided that I needed to go home for Thanksgiving. I realized I hadn't been home for almost a year. That is really odd for me because usually I go home every couple of months. My salary didn't really allow for plan tickets home and I was trying really hard not to just put things on my credit cards. Anyway, as I mentioned in my earlier post, I had been having a really rough time and I just needed to go home and see my parents and be on their couch. I charged my ticket, and I don't even feel bad about it because I had such a great time and I just needed that family time. It was so great to see my parents and just be with them. I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving and spent it with family and friends.

Incog

2007-11-24T20:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I've been flying under the radar for a while. The past three weeks have been really tiring, really emotional and just really extra. I feel like I have been through the ringer and back but I'm happy to say that things are looking up. First, the Sensation and I have had a bit of a rough patch. Don't really want to talk about it but we have made it through. Second, I got a new job. It all started when I went to a board meeting a couple of months ago and when some of the staff started bringing up the salary (we are the lowest paid legal services program in Virginia, yet we live in the area with the highest cost of living) one of the board members said something to the effect of,"no one told you to take this job." It was at that point I realized that I needed to find a job where the board members actually appreciated the staff. I was kind of scared. I had only been at my current job for a year and I wasn't sure if I knew enough. I mean the last time I was job searching I kept getting told that I didn't have enough experience so I wasn't sure how things would go, but I knew I couldn't stay at a place where the people in charge don't care. I did that once already and I don't want to do it again. So, the search began. The first job I found was for a nonprofit in DC. It looked great so I applied. I applied on a Sunday before I went to brunch, when I got back from brunch there was an email asking me to interview on Tuesday. I went in for the interview and LOVED the people. I loved the offices, I loved the location, I loved the pay increase that I would be getting and the work sounded great. A bit challenging but really worthwhile and an opportunity to grow as an attorney. They asked for references and writing samples and then the waiting game started. The next Sunday, I got the phone call. They offered, I accepted and I start mid-December. I am a bit scared because I'll be doing things that are new to me, but I am so proud of myself. I think that I am really excited about the fact that I have become someone who has experience and who gets hired in a week!! These past few weeks have been rough, but they were totally worth it for the new beginning.

I heart Stevie Wonder

2007-10-31T18:10:00.001-04:00

Stevie Wonder is 57, he has a serious receding hairline,insists on holding on to his dreadlocks and he has gained some weight since he was in his prime but I LOVE him. I went to go see him last night at the Verizon Center and I feel in love all over again. He gave a great show and he did all of his old favorites plus some new ones. This was definitely good use of money that I didn't have, because I *heart* Stevie Wonder.

All Tuckered Out

2007-10-28T13:52:00.000-04:00

There is semi-permanent outline of my body in my couch today. I am all tuckered out. This past week was exhausting and my body is still recuperating. Last weekend I went to NYC to celebrate SW's birthday. SW had a good time, I had a good time and we celebrated hard. I then got on the train (I took the train up and back and it was great!!) and came back home to work on my big case. I argued my first big nursing home discharge case this past week. I have been working on this case for the past couple of months and I've put blood, sweat and tears into it. I came back early on Sunday to put the finishing touches on it. The case went down on Wednesday and I argued like I had never argued before. I think I did a good job, but I couldn't stop to dwell on it because after my 5 hour hearing, I had to drive 4 hours to get to a conference. I conferenced until Friday and then drove back home in the pouring rain. I tried to make it back for SM's birthday dinner but I got back too late. I really didn't expect to set up camp on my couch this weekend. I had all kinds of plans and aspirations, but my body had other plans. I have gone from my bed to my couch and back again. I think I've gotten more sleep this weekend than I've gotten during the past two weeks. Let's hope the rest and relaxation help get me through the week.

Weekend

2007-10-14T19:29:00.000-04:00

So, this weekend started off with me at a conference at 8:45 in the morning after going to a Weight Watchers meeting that didn't really go very well. Was I salty? Yes, but the day got better. I came home after leaving the conference, buying some new running shoes, getting a smoothie, and finding some lunch. I was excited because I had a couple of hours until a night on the town with some of my sistafriends. I decided to pull out the grown and sexy and did the hot eye shadow (the Loreal High Pigment eye shadows are THE BOMB). I've realized that no matter how crusty I feel, a nice eyeshadow makes me feel better. It was nice to see some friends who I haven't seen for a while and we had fabulous food and conversation. Then, we headed to the movie. Everyone should go and see Tyler Perry's Why Did I Get Married. When I heard it was coming out I got excited because it wasn't the regular Tyler-dressed-in-drag-as-Medea movie. Plus it was about black people who were married? When do you see that in a movie? I mean real marriage, not just the Huxtables (don't get me wrong, I loved the Cosby show but that was NOT a realistic view of marriage.) Anyway, I thoroughly enjoyed the movie and I will probably go and see it again with The Sensation and then buy it when it comes out on DVD.

Sunday morning started quite nicely. The Sensation and I slept in and got up in time for lunch. We had a nice lunch and then he went to work and I went to the gym to try out my new running shoes. I loved them! I was actually compelled to run a bit instead of just walk. I am a big fan of them! Back to the grind tomorrow, but only a couple more days until the annual SW birthday bash in NYC.

Shaking It Off

2007-10-08T09:35:00.000-04:00

This weekend I have been funky and foul. Friday I was exhausted and disillusioned and came home and fought with The Sensation over something ridiculous. Saturday, I woke up feeling icky so I stayed in my bed all day long. I got up to eat and to go to the bathroom. Was it necessary for me to take to my bed? No, it was a bit extra, but it gave me time to think. Somewhere between Saturday at midnight and Sunday at 2 am, I decided I needed to shake it off. In the words of Ghandi, I needed to be the change I wanted to see in the world, and if not the world, then at least in my life. In order to do that I had to get it together.

Sunday, I felt like a changed bee. I got up, hit the gym, went to brunch with my old boss, discussed my resume and how I could update it to start to see what the job market has to offer, counted points like a champ, and finally changed my calendar from September to October. I then realized that I had missed a friend's birthday. I was too ashamed to call (most of you know that I'm the queen of the cards so missing an event is akin to an earthquake in my world) so I went and got a card from Target and it is currently sitting on the shelf by my door ready for mailing. This morning I decided that I can't figuratively clean my house if I don't literally clean my house so I've started to clean. I've tackled the bathroom and the kitchen so far and I've got a ton more to do. I've mopped and scrubbed and started to do the laundry, but as we all know it has to get worse before it gets better. I still have more to do and I will be tired by the end of the day, but that is okay because I am shaking it off.

The Urge to Slap is gone

2007-10-06T18:46:00.000-04:00

So the urge to slap someone is gone. I think it because I woke up feeling sick this morning so I don't have the strength to slap someone. I am now watching The Biggest Loser, which I have been faithfully TiVoing and watching every week. For some reason it always makes me cry. I think it is because I really identify with the people and the struggles that they are going through.

Slap

2007-10-05T19:01:00.001-04:00

Ludacris has a song called "Slap"which basically talks about how he feels like slapping someone. I feel like that today. I just want to slap the taste out of some people.

Neglect

2007-09-27T22:11:00.000-04:00

Lately, I've been feeling like I've been kind of disconnected from everyone. I am tired when I get home from work and I don't feel like talking on the phone or writing an email. I used to be so good about keeping in touch and all of that business but now it seems like work and fatigue has gotten in the way. If I have neglected anyone reading this I am sorry and I will try to do better in the future.

It's that time of year again

2007-09-15T20:27:00.000-04:00

I found them in Target. Pumpkins are to me what "the precious" was to Gollum!

PSA

2007-09-04T06:54:00.000-04:00

I know that there are more pressing things that we need public service announcements for, like AIDS prevention, saying no to drugs and preventing genocide, but I have something that must be said. If you are a person who goes to the gym in the morning PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE brush your teeth before you go. This morning I struggled to get out of my bed and go to the gym. I was just getting over feeling salty because I was up at 5:37 am and on the treadmill when a man got on the treadmill next to me. All would have been well if he wouldn't have started huffing and puffing. With each huff and each puff my nostrils were assaulted with his HOT LIKE FIRE morning breath. It was quite off-putting. It was all I could do to finish my workout and run out of there, nose hairs singed. So, for all of you folks who like to get up early and go work out, please take the extra 2 minutes and brush your teeth. Your fellow gym buddies will thank you.

Sephora is of the Devil

2007-09-03T16:50:00.000-04:00

So today I went to Sephora for some blotting papers. Things went awry from the moment I stepped inside. I got my blotting papers and was headed to the check out when the Carol's Daughter display caught my eye. I have heard all the hype so I stopped to browse. I grabbed some leave in conditioner and was headed back to the check out when I decided I would check out the mineral foundation. I have heard people raving about it and thought I would see what the chatter was about. It was then that things took a turn for the worst. I found a colorist and she sat me in the chair and put on the makeup. It looked kind of ashy on me and she told me that because I didn't have any major skin breakouts, the mineral stuff wouldn't really do anything for me. I decided against the foundation but she broke out this HOT bronzer that looks good under powder. While she was talking about the bronzer, I figured I should ask about how to do a smokey eye. SW knows how to to do the smokey eye and I want to be up with the trends so I asked Lavonda, my fabulous colorist for the day. We talked about my oily eyelids and the way that I can combat them. She did a great smokey "day" eye and told me how to tailor the look for a night out. She also broke out this shiny lipgloss. By the end of the session I looked FINE. I mean SEXPOT fine. Of course, I wanted to recreate the sexpot look on my own and that is how I got caught up. I spent way too much money and when they told me the total I made sure to put one thing back so I could sleep tonight, but I haven't spent money on makeup for a while and I will look so sassified this fall!

Tired

2007-08-31T16:03:00.000-04:00

I am tired of the following:

1. Hypocritical Republicans. The Republicans are the first people to pull the morality card, but they seem to be the ones who are getting caught with Congressional pages and committing lewd acts in bathrooms.

2. People from high school who I NEVER spoke to and/or liked trying to add me as a friend on Facebook. If you didn't see fit to speak to me in high school, don't use me to get your Facebook numbers up.

3. People who do not know how to keep an appointment or to bring the documents that I tell them to.

That is all, thanks for listening to the rant.

Love Yourself However You Are

2007-08-15T20:46:00.000-04:00

Today while walking into Target I saw a pregnant woman. It wasn't the fact that she was pregnant that struck me, it was her swagger. Yes, this pregnant woman was walking like she was on the runway. She had on one of those cute pregnant lady outfits and was strutting her stuff. In my mind I gave her a "you go girl," and rolled into Target. She made me think about something my cousin told me a couple of weeks ago. We were talking about clothes, and I made some comment about wanting to lose some weight before I bought some article of clothing and my cousin totally stopped me and said, "You are wonderful no matter what you weigh and you can't wait until you do this or that before you live your life." At that moment I realized that I need to start living in the now and stop waiting until I reach that magic size or get that perfect job. From here on out I'm going to do my best to live in the now.

Club 271

2007-06-10T22:10:00.000-04:00

Another weekend of relaxation. Back in the day it would be all about whatever club was hot, had no seating to rest my aching feet, had a line around the block to get in, and an even longer line for the bar and the bathroom. Now, I'm all about Club 271. Club 271 has a very exclusive guest list, unlimited seating and I can always get a drink at the bar. The airconditioning is always on, there is no line for the bathroom and the music is always to my liking. There are no gold-toothed questionable characters trying holla at me or grab me in inappropriate ways at Club 271, just people who I want to see. Maybe later on in the summer I'll venture out to see what clubs are hot, but right now, I'm all about Club 271.

Rough Week

2007-05-28T11:06:00.000-04:00

This past week has been really long and tiring. One of my client's passed away this week and yes, I know that I work with seniors, but this is my first client death and it was very sad. I also had a ridiculous day on Friday which resulted in an upcoming trial and some realizations about where I work. I love my job and the seniors (SM says that I secretly hate the seniors, but that isn't true. Yes, they try my patience some days but in the end, I grow to love them and I can provide them a service.) I'm just starting to get the feeling that the organization doesn't care about its employees, which just makes me very frustrated because I thought I had found a good place to work. Oh well, I'm taking the long weekend to recuperate and thing things through before I make my next move. Friday I chilled with the Sensation, Saturday I went to Lucky Strike for a birthday party and Sunday I cleaned my house and had some friends over. Right now I'm watching Ellen (she has a LOT of rhythm) and figuring out what we are going to take to the barbecue tonight.

Requests

2007-05-20T22:02:00.001-04:00

My car has died and the Legal Aid salary hasn't given me the means to afford a new transmission yet so the Sensation and I have been sharing a car. He is a wonderful man and I love him...but anyway, I've been taking public transportation on the weekends to get where I need to go. I have a couple of requests:

1. Control your damn kids. Nothing is worse than being on a bus or metro with unruly kids. Harness them, leash them, I don't care, just control them.

2. If your breath is hot like fire, don't talk or in the alternative, get a breath mint.

3. If there are lots of open seats on the bus, don't go sit RIGHT next to someone and then feel the need to touch them repeatedly throughout the ride.

That is all. I'm going to watch Mahogany.

Update: Success means nothing unless you have someone you love to share it with. I LOVE that line!!!

Toes

2007-05-14T22:04:00.000-04:00

So, I haven't felt much like blogging lately but today I found motivation. I just had to share something that made me laugh for about 15 minutes straight. My mom and I both TiVo Oprah every day and then spend part of our daily conversation talking about the show. I was watching with The Sensation today and we both saw Oprah's toes. OH MY GOODNESS??!! How can one of the richest, most powerful women have such horrible toes. I was laughing so hard I had to have The Sensation talk to my mom while I caught my breath. My mom said that she should wear socks and I am in whole-hearted agreement. When I wear open-toed shoes tomorrow I will do so with pride. I might have no money, no fame and and a whole lot of debt, but at least I have nice toes.

Tuesday

2007-05-08T14:58:00.000-04:00

It is Tuesday and I'm sick. I can only take so much daytime TV and for some reason I want banana bread. Probably because this weekend while I was in NYC, SW's roommate made some KILLER banana bread. Okay, off to take some more meds and take a nap.

Senseless

2007-04-17T06:23:00.000-04:00

One man, 33 innocent people who lost their lives and a campus and a nation who doesn't know why. It is times like these when I really question whether I want to bring children into a world where you can lose your life just trying to get your education. My prayers go out to the students at Virginia Tech, the families who lost loved ones and everyone else like me who is just trying to understand how something like this could happen.

Silver Lining

2007-04-10T21:56:00.000-04:00

I needed some silver lining today so here is what I came up with:
1. The Sensation loves me enough to get me not one, but two chocolate bunnies for Easter. I'm working on bunny #2.
2. I don't have to go to work tomorrow, I took the day off for my birthday
3. The Sensation is taking the day off too
4.I only had one crazy senior at the senior center today and I was able to head off the other ones at the pass. If I had moved faster I would have made it to my car before being caught in the parking lot.
5. I'm coming down from my chocolate high...I've been gorging since Sunday.
6. Tomorrow I am 28 years young!

Happy Easter!!

2007-04-08T14:11:00.001-04:00

Happy Easter everyone. May your day be filled with joy and love.

Happiness v. Cash

2007-04-07T22:31:00.001-04:00

Today I've really been thinking about my job and how I just don't get paid enough. Don't get me wrong, I really love my job and I finally feel like a "real" attorney working on cases and helping my seniors, but the pay really sucks. I know that money isn't everything and I'm getting LRAP so my loans are getting paid, but I'm not sure how long I can live on the salary that I am making. At some point I want to buy a house and have some kids and not have to scrimp and save and worry from paycheck to paycheck. A lot of this was brought on by the fact that I had to buy tires today. In years past that wouldn't have been a big deal, but today I actually had to figure out if I could afford the two tires I needed or if I should just get one and then pray over the other one. I realized today that I am barely making it and but for my cohabitation with The Sensation, I would be struggling to make ends meet.
I don't understand how I could get paid so much clicking on documents, but when I'm trying to make sure that the seniors don't get mistreated I'm counting pennies?? My boss gave me my 6-month review on Thursday and she said that I'm doing well, which makes me feel great...but good feelings aren't going to keep me in tires, food and shelter. I need to come up with a plan for survival...more on this later.

Highs and Lows

2007-04-06T21:10:00.001-04:00

My week has been full of highs and lows. It was as follows:
Monday- High, UF wins the NCAA Championship
Tuesday-Low, flat tire and craziness at work
Wednesday-Low- more craziness at work
Thursday-Low- sat in court for almost 4 hours to get a case called and be in front of the judge for all of 5 seconds.
Friday-high, spring holiday slept in all day long.

Hopefully, next week will be more highs and less lows.

Dem Gator Boys

2007-04-02T23:41:00.000-04:00

National Champions 2 years in a row. 'Nuff Said.

Updates

2007-03-22T17:36:00.000-04:00

Okay, so the sleep study occurred. I get my results on April 7th. I wore the orange sweatpants and had a very nice sleep despite the electrodes and wires that were attached to me. Work is picking up, I think the seniors perk up when the weather gets nice. I'm also working on ways to get my spark back, I think it went into hibernation when the weather got cold. Now that the weather is warmer, I need it back. That is about all I can think of that is going on in life right now. Here is a gratuitous goat picture for you.

Thank Goodness for Weekends

2007-03-17T10:39:00.000-04:00

I'm so happy it is Saturday. This week has been one of those weeks when you are just trying to make it to the weekend. I'm so elated I have a whole day to do things I want to do for a change. I slept in, called my mom for our weekly Saturday morning convo and now I'm just kind of mooning about. I came to some great realizations this week.

1. I have a great circle of friends.
2. I have a wonderful man who I truly love (although there are some days I want to shake him)
3. I like my job even though the seniors are demanding and can give a girl a headache
4. Things are not always as bad as they seem.

Today is day 25 without chocolate and I would give my right arm for some. I haven't cheated and I'm currently "hiding" my girl scout cookies in the trunk of my car. If they are in the house, they are too tempting. Other than that, nothing much is going on, just work. I am going to a sleep study tonight to make sure I don't have sleep apnea and I'm trying to figure out what pj's to wear. The sleep center said I should be comfortable, but if I do that I will wear my orange sweatpants. I love my sweatpants with all of my heart, but both my mom and The Sensation have told me that I should be ashamed of them and should never wear them outside of my house. Do I stay true to comfort and wear the pants or do I avoid shaming my family and my man and wear something else? Oh well, before the great pj debate I'm going to get some breakfast.

Happy St. Patrick's Day for all of my Irish folks out there!

Senior Citizens

2007-03-06T20:30:00.000-05:00

Today I dealt with one of the meanest, rudest, foulest most difficult clients yet. This woman made me realize why some people put their parents in nursing homes and never go to see them. After talking to her, I had images of her with a pitchfork and a cape commanding her minions in the fiery pits of Hell. Tomorrow is Wednesday, it will be better, but if she calls I will be "unavailable".

Chocolate

2007-02-25T20:31:00.000-05:00

Every year I give up something for Lent. No, I'm not Catholic, but I think that it is good to go without something you truly love for 40 days. It is a character builder and sometimes can help break a bad habit. This year I chose chocolate. It has been a hard road and it hasn't even been a week. It seems like now that I have given it up, I am surrounded by chocolate. At our bi-weekly meeting someone brought in some high end dark chocolate and my boss has started keeping Dove bites in her desk just in case we need a chocolate fix. It is going to be a rough forty days, but come Easter I'm hoping I will no longer crave chocolate the way I do now. Either that or I'm going to go ballistic and eat every Cadbury Egg and chocolate bunny I can get my hands on. Let's hope it is the former and not the latter.

My Favorite Cleaning Supply of the Moment

2007-02-20T22:12:00.000-05:00

I am in love with this wonderful product! My favorite mug happens to be white and it had all kinds of coffee and tea stains in it. The stains seemed to be permanant and no amount of washing could get them out. Magic Eraser got my mug sparkling again. I have no idea how it works, but it really is magic!

2007-02-14T19:10:00.000-05:00

Please, please, please!

2007-02-12T15:12:00.000-05:00

I am praying with every fiber of my being that we get a snow day tomorrow. I need one...soon.

Fraying at the Edges

2007-02-02T09:24:00.000-05:00

I can feel myself slowly unraveling and I realize that these are the growing pains of adulthood.

Five Things You Don't Know About Me

2007-01-27T21:00:00.000-05:00

Glib Gurl tagged me to let you know five things that you don't know about me. I don't know if these are things that people don't know about me, but I'll try.
1. I hold a grudge like you wouldn't believe. I am like a pit bull when someone has hurt me, my friends or my family. I lock on and don't let go. Some of my friends have been hurt and have forgiven their victimizers, but I haven't forgiven them. It doesn't really make sense because a lot of my grudges are against people who haven't done anything to me, but whatever. It is the way I am.
2. I have five tattoos on my person. If you haven't seen them, you weren't supposed to.
3. I have always wanted to be on the Real World- I know I know, I'm way past the cut off age now, but I think it would have been fun.
4. In my slimmer days, I was on a competitive dance team. From 7-10th grade I danced an 8 minute show almost every single weekend year round. Damn, I was such good shape back then.
5. When I am a size 10, I plan to go to a nude beach. Not because I am interested in seeing other people naked, but because I know that is the only place that I can do my naked celebration walk of victory and not get arrested.
I am now passing the torch on to Sharona, Mookieam131 and Linz.

On the couch

2007-01-23T14:51:00.000-05:00

I've been on the couch all day today. I hate being sick.

Minute by Minute

2007-01-15T09:33:00.000-05:00

Last night I cleaned my whole house in effort to avoid ordering a pizza. My house is sparkling and I didn't order a pizza. The Year of Hard Work is in full effect!

Again

2007-01-09T08:56:00.000-05:00

First basketball, now football, my team did it again. The Gator Nation is EVERYWHERE! For UF fans everywhere I say, GO GATORS!!!

Just when you think things are safe ...

2007-01-08T10:43:00.000-05:00

Something happens to gum up the works. It is 10:43 am and I am in my house. Why am I not at work? Because my car is acting up. I've gotten a rental that will be ready at 11:30 and I really love my car, but I think I am going to have to start making plans to get a new one. Now that I am driving so far to work every day, I need something reliable. Hopefully, I can get my current car fixed for a nominal fee, drive it for a year, and in that time save some money for a down payment. *sigh* and things were going so well. Say a prayer folks, I have a feeling that this repair is not going to be cheap.

Happy New Year!!

2006-12-31T20:44:00.000-05:00

Happy New Year! Yes, the post is a bit early, but I plan to be hugged up with The Sensation all day tomorrow (this is the first time in a long time that we will have a whole day together without family, school or work so believe that I will be nowhere near a computer) so I'm giving my good tidings now. 2006 was a pretty decent year. I found a job that I liked and moved in with the man I love. Let's hope that 2007 holds more good things. I've set a couple of goals for myself in the new year. I don't do resolutions anymore because that is just asking for them to be broken. My goals are to get to the gym more (we all know why) and to be on time as often as possible (Ghana Standard Time isn't working more me.) I hope the new year holds a lot of happiness and prosperity for everyone and please be safe out there!

My weekend

2006-12-31T20:29:00.000-05:00

I was quite riled after my last post so I decided that I was going to try and have a good weekend. Yesterday, I got up, picked up SM and went to the gym and to brunch and Lebanese Taverna. It was a much needed and wonderful morning. I worked out, ate good (and healthy) food and hung out with a good friend. I then went home and showered, kissed The Sensation and headed back out. I stopped to get my brows done (gotta have nice brows for the new year)I had a fabulous time with Glib Girl and NW. We had really good Thai food and then went to see Dream Girls. SUCH A GOOD MOVIE! Afterwards, we had dessert and conversation at this cute little cafe and called it a night. This morning The Sensation and I got up and cleaned the whole apartment. When I say cleaned I mean we cleaned our apartment from top to bottom. I am a firm believer in getting one's house in order before the new year so you can set the tone for the year. My house is now clean and smells good. We went grocery shopping yesterday and The Sensation cut my hair for me this morning. After the cleaning extravaganzaa I picked up SM and we had another fun day. We made some returns, went shopping (she went shopping, not me, I'm trying to be better about spending in the new year) and got a pedicure. A good time was had by all. I'm not doing anything spectacular for New Year's Eve. In years past I've broken my neck figuring out my plans. The Sensation has to work this year so I won't get my New Year's kiss until he gets home, but that's okay. My house is clean, my hair is cut, my toes are pretty and after I put in the last load of laundry I'll have clean clothes. I'm going to sit down and watch my Desperate Housewives DVDs, drink some mulled wine and call it a night. Sometimes it is just good to be still.

Weighing Heavy on my Mind

2006-12-30T00:23:00.000-05:00

Happy Holidays to all. I hope everyone enjoyed Christmas, Hannukah, Christmikah, Hannumas or whatever you celebrate around this time of year. I spent some very relaxing days at home with my family where I discovered that I don't really like my sister about 50% of the time. I love her because she is family and when she is in a good mood she is great, but when she isn't (which is about 50-75% of the time) I can't stand her. She has this angst that only a child who grew up in the suburbs and was given almost everything she wanted could have. It makes me crazy. She is ungrateful and sullen and treats my parents horribly. My parents either are too tired to care or they figure that she doesn't live there anymore so they don't have to deal with her so they ignore the tantrums and the pissy attitude. Also, for one who is so adamant that people should accept her beliefs and views without question she is the one of the most judgmental people who I know. If something is not "interesting" to her or happens to be mainstream (like marriage) she immediately dismisses it with a roll of the eye and some kind of snarky comment. I'm almost happy that we don't live in the same place because I'm not a fan. The only thing I kept thinking while I was home was that I need to outlive her because if I don't, my parents will be left at her mercy and she will probably put them in a nursing home.

Why am I worried about outliving my sister? Because I am fat. Not heavy, not rotund, not chubby. Fat. I am fat and it isn't cute anymore. I recently saw a picture of me and The Sensation at my friend's wedding and I had to do a double take. It was HORRIBLE. Now, it is no shock to me that I am heavy, but that picture made me want to wire my jaw shut for a couple of months. I look like I'm The Sensation's mother or spinster aunt. I am terrified that I am going to have to get married in a dress with long ugly sleeves (all the dresses that I have seen for "plus sizes" have these ridiculous sleeves that I really don't like). I want to wear the clothes I used to wear and not have to shop in a special store. I want to dance the way I used to dance and not be winded after a couple of songs. I want to wear cute heels and not have my feet feel like they are on fire because of all of the pressure that the rest of me is putting on them. I want to be able to get dressed and not have figure out what clothes are best for hiding the tummy roll. I know I am a fabulous person but the time has come for me to start giving myself permission to get healthy. The Sensation was talking about putting the infamous picture on his desk and at first I freaked out about it, but now I'm thinking that he should go ahead and put the picture up. Thus far, I have been all talk and no action. Yeah, I go to the gym sporadically and sometimes hit a Weight Watchers Meeting, but really, that hasn't helped has it? I've seen people around me lose weight and I'm happy for them, but it things don't seem to be clicking for me as to how to do the same thing. Linz is doing wonderfully and my friend JS has recently lost a ton of weight. If that picture has the power to shame me into going to the gym everyday, then maybe it should be on display somewhere. This is going to be the last time that I mention my weight on this blog until either I reach my goal weight or I drop dead of a stroke due to morbid obesity. If I have a good week or two I might mention it, but I can't constantly complain about things if I'm not doing anything to change them. The new year is coming and something has to change because the number on the scale isn't changing until I get up and go to somebody's gym, dance class or Weight Watchers center. The time has come for me to stop talking about it and be about it.

Dreamgirls

2006-12-15T12:12:00.000-05:00

Okay, Glib Gurl has been hyped about Dreamgirls for a while. I've been a bit lukewarm about it, but willing to see it. I heard rave reviews about it this morning on NPR and decided to listen to Jennifer Holliday's And I am Telling You I'm not Going about 5 seconds ago in my office. When I tell you that I almost shut the door so I could testify, I am serious. I know that I have had moments like that in life. When you just have to tell folks, "look, you are GOING to love me." I've heard Jennifer Hudson works it OUT so I think I just got a bit more hyped about the movie.

Arlington Blues

2006-12-15T11:36:00.000-05:00

How is it that I have lived in the Northern Virginia area for over 5 years and haven't gotten a ticket UNTIL the past month in which I've gotten not one, but TWO tickets!!?? I'm aggravated with myself because I always seem to be running late so I know I was speeding. I just need to be better about being on time. I'm also annoyed because the police officers were both so nice when I've been pulled over that I can't even get mad at them for being jerks. I need to get off of African Standard Time and get it together.

Irreplaceable

2006-12-13T19:27:00.000-05:00

Lately, I've been listening to that song "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce. I have no idea why I like it so much. Basically, she is singing about how her man didn't treat her right and she is too good for him so she kicks him out. I LOVE IT! The Sensation and I are doing fine and I'm not harboring thoughts of replacing him, but I think that all women have felt this way at some point or another. I think my favorite line is "So since I’m not your everything How about I'll be nothing, nothing at all to you." Too many women don't know that they are worth so much more than some trifling man will give them credit for, especially in DC where the ratio of women to men is something ridiculous like 8:1. I mean really, just because there are more women does NOT give the men the right to act up! So, to all the ladies out there please know that you are truly irreplaceable and don't put up with foolishness. As the old folks say, "you can do bad all by yourself."

Tuesday

2006-12-05T20:41:00.000-05:00

1. Yesterday, one of my clients called me "that colored girl." She thought she was talking to my boss. Probably because I "speak so well." Mind you, my boss is Indian so I'm not sure what the crazy old lady was thinking but whatever. I knew that I was working in the South but damn!!

2. Today I didn't eat lunch until 4:45 and I had a client have a bit of a breakdown in my office.

3. I'm exhausted, but like my turtle picture today, I'm still giving 100% because I really do love my job.

That being said, I am going to bed so I can get up to face another day tomorrow.

Productivity

2006-12-04T00:32:00.000-05:00

This weekend was very productive. I got a whole lot done and was able to cross a lot off of my to-do list. Nothing says satisfaction like a list of crossed-off tasks. I have called everyone who I was supposed to, washed and folded laundry, vacuumed the apartment, wrote and gave a speech, emailed a slew of people, paid the rent, baked some pumpkin bread, sewed on some missing buttons, cleaned the bathroom, bought a Christmas tree and decoration with The Sensation and watched some movies. All is right with the world and I can start my week off right.

Wednesday

2006-11-29T19:12:00.002-05:00

I had a lot to blog about today but now that I'm home I'm tired and I've forgotten it all. I am starting to feel like some of my clients. Forgetful and ornery. If it doesn't get done between the time I leave the house and the time i get home, it won't get done. I've taken to falling asleep on the couch after dinner and today I came home at 5 and put on my pjs and slippers. I need to build up my stamina so I can get through a day and not feel like collapsing when I walk through my door. Oh well, tired as I may be, I love my job. I guess this it what happens when you use your brains. However, I am going to have to consult with The Sensation and see when he plans to strike it rich so I can become a Lady who Lunches. I've decided I can't be a fairy princess, so Lady who Lunches will have to do.

Off to find food!

Figuring things out

2006-11-22T20:58:00.003-05:00

This past weekend I had a wonderful time in NYC. Well, I'm getting ahead of myself. Last Wednesday-Friday I went to a conference for work. It was great to be at a place where I was actually learning material that was going to help me in the job that I do. From the conference I came home, checked my email, got a snack and got back on the road to catch my train to NYC. SW and I saw Russell Peters who was hilarious and then we just hung out all weekend. It was great, very low key and just what I needed. We went to see this exhibit called CANstruction which is coming to an area near you so check it out if you can. We also went to a restaurant called S'Mac where you can get about a million kinds of macaroni and cheese. Yummy goodness. I only got caught up by the "fire of the foot" once and thoroughly enjoyed my weekend.

While I was in NYC I saw two people who I went to law school with. The first was in the CANstruction exhibit and we exchanged pleasantries and went on. The second was someone who I once considered a friend and I saw her on the subway. The weird thing is that I saw her, looked her dead in her face and kept on going. I had no desire to talk to her and I had no guilt about not stopping. I just didn't care. It is funny how as I get older I realize who my true friends are and who is on the periphery. There are people who I don't talk to for weeks but when we talk, it is like we haven't broken stride. Those are my true friends. I might not talk to them every day or we might email back and forth every day, but I know if I ever needed them, they would be there for me.

Had a hilarious conversation with one of my co-workers today. He couldn't believe that I took a 45K pay cut for the job that I'm doing now. When I actually said the words I couldn't believe it either, but then I went back to my office and started drafting the power of attorney and living will for the adorable little old lady who came to see me yesterday. Am I broke? Yes. Will I struggle for the next couple of years? Yes. Will it be rough? Yes, but the hugs that woman and her son gave me and the experience that I am gaining are totally worth it.

It is 9 pm on the day before Thanksgiving. Why haven't I gone shopping for the food yet???

What???

2006-11-22T20:51:00.001-05:00

What the fuck is wrong with Kramer?

1. I will never watch this man again.
2. Why did some people in the audience think this was funny?
3. It is 2006- will foolishness like this ever stop?

Update: Another reason I will not ever watch him again

Trying to do a good deed

2006-11-17T12:12:00.000-05:00

A couple of days ago I was at Love Cafe getting a cupcake. The woman in front of me was taking a long time and realized that she had lost her wallet. While she went to look for it I paid for her meal. I figured it was 10 bucks well spent and the good karma would come back to me. When she came back from looking for her wallet the cashier told her that I had paid and not to worry about it. The woman was so STANK to me that I took a step back. She told me she had lost her wallet, told me she didn't have time to sit and eat and that she didn't want the food. SHE DIDN'T WANT THE FOOD!! I was livid. She took my good deed and made me think evil thoughts about her. A simple "thank you" would have sufficed. Harumph. Stank Heifer. Oh well, the Sensation and I had a BLT, some soup and a laugh because of her.

Exhausted!

2006-11-17T12:01:00.000-05:00

Okay, I just got back from this conference for work and I am exhausted! I bonded, partied and now I'm here for about an hour before I head to NYC. It looks like NYC is going to be my last hurrah because I need to find a part time job STAT! Watching the bank account dwindle is not cool.

Crazy Oven

2006-11-12T21:43:00.000-05:00

Okay, so lately I've been doing a lot of baking, cooking and cleaning. Everyone is telling me that I'm nesting, which is true but I'm also just so psyched about having so much space to cook in that I feel like I should be cooking all of the time. My only issue is my oven. It is CRAZY! Now don't get me wrong, I like the fact that all of my appliances are new, but for some reason my oven is cooking everything way too fast. For three weeks in a row I have tried to make pumpkin bread. I always end up with bread that is burned on the outside, half-raw on the inside and a house that smells like charred pumpkins. I've tried adjusting the temperature down, moving the bread pans around, checking the bread every 5 minutes and a combination of these three things. I am currently sitting in a freezing cold apartment because I have all of my windows open to combat the smell. I'm not sure what I should be doing to fix the oven but in 2 weeks I'm going to have to cook a turkey and I don't want to ruin it. What is a girl to do?

Update: I love the internet. I figured out how to recalibrate my oven's thermostat. Maybe that will work. I'll have to try baking again soon.

The new gig

2006-11-08T07:44:00.000-05:00

Love the new job. Love love love it! They have me hopping from the time I get in until the time that I leave. I am very happy but very overwhelmed. It is only the second week and I know that there is a learning curve, so stay tuned for more!

Things get weirder

2006-11-01T15:37:00.001-05:00

So, yesterday after hearing from my ex, I send him an email which basically said, "So sorry to hear about your surgery please don't call me anymore." I got an email saying, "I didn't call you yesterday, I haven't had surgery, but I hope you are doing okay in DC, I would like to call you." Ummm, Hell to the no and could someone please tell me what the hell is going on?

Halloween: What is really going on?

2006-10-31T19:17:00.000-05:00

First let me say that it doesn't really feel like Halloween. I didn't go out in costume, there are no kids running around the neighborhood and I'm not gorging myself on candy. Wait, I just had some kids come to the door so scratch the second point. I hope more kids come, we need to get this candy out of our apartment. In true Halloween fashion weird things are happening. The ex from Ex-Factor called me. It has been about 4 years since I talked to that man, why is he coming out of the woodwork now? He claimed he dialed the wrong number and was trying to get in touch with his grandma because he had just had surgery on a tumor in his throat, but why is my number still in his phone?? I don't get it. My mom finds it crazy, the Sensation thought it was pathetic and I'm just at a loss...maybe he was on heavy drugs after the surgery because he knows I want no dealings with him. Oh well, I'll chalk it up to Halloween madness. Happy Halloween and be safe!

Free at last, free at last

2006-10-30T08:50:00.000-05:00

My last day at work was Friday. I have two days of freedom before I start the new job and I am PSYCHED. There are going to be two days of job hunting (yeah, I need to get a second gig), watching Desperate Housewives, and getting myself ready to start being a "real" attorney. Kind of scary isn't it?

Ex-Factor

2006-10-26T07:30:00.000-04:00

My mom saw one of my exes last week. She sees him around town every so often and will always tell me about it. I think she takes pleasure in the fact that he asks about me. I actually take pleasure in it too, I find it funny that he wants to know how I am. I mean if he would have treated me the way I was supposed to be treated he would know how I am, because we would still be together or at least be friends. The thing that I find interesting is that I no longer have any kind of feelings of animosity toward him. For a long time I wanted him to feel the kind of pain that he had inflicted on me. This was the man I thought I was going to marry and when he tossed me aside I went through the motions for real. I spent the better part of a year as an emotional wreck. I have never cried so much or felt so low as I did when he and I broke up. I have never felt a break-up as deeply or as badly as I felt that one. I guess all of my "break up" energy was spent on that one experience. I thought my world was ending and I wanted revenge. I wanted someone to break his heart and stomp on it. When I was talking to my mom last night I realized that I didn't have any of those feelings. I felt kind of bad for him and that was the extent of my feelings. I guess time heals all things. Well, time and the fact that I now have a fabulous man, I'm starting a new job and things are generally going well. Maybe it's not a feeling of forgiveness, but a feeling of contentment with my life that makes all other feelings pale in comparison? Maybe I have gotten my revenge in that I am happy? I don't know, but what ever it is it feels good.

Efforts

2006-10-20T12:25:00.000-04:00

I'm trying to be a better listener. I've realized that ever since law school, I have gotten bad about listening. I like to hear other people talk, but I tend to interrupt and cut in with comments of my own. It isn't cute or polite. I'm working on it. I want to catch it before I turn into one of those people who won't let her friends finish a full sentence. I don't want to be that girl.

Project Runway

2006-10-18T23:34:00.000-04:00

*Meh* Very disappointed. I loved all of the designers that went to Fashion Week. I thought Michael had a good chance but he didn't bring it. Uli, Laura and Jeffrey did fabulously but I wouldn't have picked Jeffrey's collection. I would have gone with Uli for sure. Kind of anti-climactic for me.

Wednesday Musings

2006-10-18T10:01:00.000-04:00

1. Will I ever be as fly as my mom? I hope so, because my mom is FLY!
2. Why did the woman on the metro choose that brand of perfume? It smells like hot trash.
3. How does one become a notary?
4. If I did the cabbage patch right now would anyone notice?
5. The Sensation says my goat from the post on Monday looks high. Does he? I hope not, I don't want anyone thinking that I support drug use in goats.
6. That took all of 5 minutes. What am I going to do with the other 7 hours and 25 minutes of my work day???

Mellowcreme Pumpkins

2006-10-17T13:18:00.000-04:00

Every year around this time I get excited. Why? Because this is the only time of the year when my mellowcreme pumpkins are sold. I LOVE these pumpkins. I don't know why but they just make me happy. I will scour the Targets, Walmarts and CVS's of NOVA to find a bag of said pumpkins. I don't want candy corn and I don't want the Harvest Mix (candy corn and pumpkins), I want a bag full of nothing but pumpkins. Now, in years past I would eat them until my tongue felt scratchy and my teeth hurt, but I'm learning. I'm trying to adhere to a Weight Watchers portion. I can have 6-9 pumpkins (depending on the brand) for 3 points. This makes the bag last a lot longer and I don't feel like vomiting. The Sensation likes the pumpkins too, but not like I do. I'm considering going out in the nasty cold rainy weather to see if CVS has any more. The season is almost over and I have to get my fix.

UPDATE: I found them at CVS! I bought 5 bags.

The Something Good

2006-10-16T11:39:00.000-04:00

I love this picture. This picture pretty much sums up how I feel today. I couldn't talk about it before because I hadn't given my notice but I did that this morning and now I can tell you all that I got a new job! After two years of bitterness and sadness, I accepted a job doing elder law. I start November 1st. There is much rejoicing in the land and I can't wipe the grin off my face!

Speak English and Dance

2006-10-15T22:30:00.000-04:00

Okay, I have had a great weekend except for one glaring thing. I'm going to start with that first. Why don't people speak English anymore?!!!??? Now, I know that English is not an easy language to learn and some people choose to live in little enclaves where they never have to learn it and I'm okay with that. As the child of immigrants and the girlfriend of one, I know that it is sometimes easier to just speak your native tongue. BUT (and this a a HUGE but) if you are going to get a job where you are going to work in the PUBLIC SECTOR I'm going to need you to take an ESOL class. I went to a fast food restaurant yesterday and the woman didn't speak English. I asked her for no pickles on my sandwich and she looked at me like I had sprouted another head. She had to ask her bi-lingual co-worker what I wanted. I went to Target tonight and asked a woman where the Febreeze was and she looked at me like I had lost my mind then said, "No speak English." I almost lost my shit right there. AT LEAST TRY!! I mean damn. I'm sorry, but my parents had to learn English when they came here in order to get along. Why can't other people? I blame the businesses who hire these non-English speaking people. If businesses stopped hiring people until they had proof of graduation from an ESOL class, we wouldn't have these issues.

There, now that I have vented I can tell you about my lovely weekend. I attended a gorgeous wedding this weekend. A law school friend of mine got married in a beautiful ceremony at the Naval Yard. As my friend NW says, "it is nice to see black people in love." Everything was wonderful and the band was awesome. Any jazz band that plays "Gin and Juice and "Drop It Like It's Hot" is worth the money. My only regret was that the Sensation had to work :( I like having him with me at events like this. We lazed around all day today and then the Sensation went to work and I went to dance class. My friend KM has been trying to get me to go to dance with her for months and I haven't gotten around to it. I went today and it was FABULOUS! I haven't danced in about 10 years and I've missed out on a lot. It was so nice to get back into a studio and sweat and stretch and work on a move over and over and over again until you get it. I'll definitely be going back next week. Tomorrow is the big day and I am PSYCHED! More on that later.

Pumpkin

2006-10-11T10:21:00.000-04:00

Because my sister said I had too much black in my wardrobe, I bought an orange sweater. I'm wearing it today and I look like a very sassy pumpkin.

India.Arie

2006-10-05T08:02:00.000-04:00

Last night I went to see India.Arie in concert and she was AWESOME! I think that this was my favorite concert of the year. She was fabulous, real, beautiful and just looked like she was having such a good time performing. It was the perfect end to a perfect day. Something good happened yesterday.

Sunday Morning Rain is Falling...

2006-10-01T11:32:00.000-04:00

Well, not really. I'm actually in FL at my parents' house right now and it is sunny and about 75 degrees. I came home to throw a surprise party for my mom and it went FABULOUSLY! All of the covert phone calls, probing emails and last minute running around (I burned through a tank of gas in 3 hours yesterday) were totally worth the look on my mom's face when my dad brought her to the party and my sister and I popped up with 22 of her closest friends and yelled "SUPRISE." Mission Accomplished. Things are going well and I can't shake this feeling that something good is going to happen soon. Don't know why don't know where but something good is coming.

Spain

2006-09-25T07:12:00.000-04:00

I never really have had a desire to go to Spain, but any country that is banning ultra-skinny models might need to be placed on my travel list.

Weekend

2006-09-24T23:51:00.000-04:00

This weekend was quite fabulous. RL came down from NYC for a visit, we had our first little get-together at the new place and a good time was had by all. I also have just read a book called Who Moved My Cheese. I would recommend it to everyone who is having a rough time with finding a job, getting over a relationship or any other kind of change. It was great! Now, I need to get myself together for the week.

Old People on Bikes

2006-09-21T07:50:00.000-04:00

It is funny how communities are built. I go to spinning class on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and my spinning class is definitely a community. Every community has one or two resident old folks and my spin class is no different. We have two older folks in our class who absolutely make my day. The first one is Ms. E. She is a feisty older woman of color who will quote Scripture in a heart beat and brings stuffed animals and attaches them to her bike for motivation. I LOVE her. My day isn't complete if I don't hear her tell me to "have a blessed day" when I leave class. The second person is Mr. P. He is an older Asian man who has got to be at least 75. He doesn't say much but goes through the whole class with this air of calm that I find impressive. Everyone is breathing hard and about to die, but Mr. P is just pedaling along like he is taking a leisurely afternoon ride. He is my motivation. If he can make it through back to back jump songs and sprints and then do a seated climb and not pass out there is no excuse for me to pass out. I mean really, he has at least 40 years on me! Oh well, off to work.

Brown is the new Black

2006-09-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

While listening to the radio this morning, I heard something that gave me pause. NPR is doing a series on Muslims in America and apparently people are outraged. Some of the letters that I heard made me wonder what the hell is wrong with people and how many people have white sheets, crosses and matches in their closets. People thought that the five-year anniversary of September 11th was no time to listen to what Muslims have to say. I'm sorry but I find this absolutely preposterous. Yes, September 11th was a horrible thing and yes, the people who committed the heinous act were evil people who claim to be Muslim, but I'm sorry I cannot get behind the thought that all Muslims are evil. First of all, I'm sure that there were some Muslim people who were in the Twin Towers and the Pentagon who passed away. Are their lives less valuable just because of their faith? Second of all, people have said time and time again that the hijackers were crazy fundamentalists that didn't speak for the majority of Muslims. The "evil September 11th hijackers were Muslims therefore all Muslims must be terrorists" belief just doesn't fly with me. If I were to follow that reasoning, I would also have to conclude that all white people were members of the Ku Klux Klan and any fundamentalist Christian must be an agent of Satan. That being said, I am becoming increasingly worried for my Muslim friends and people who even look like they could be of Middle Eastern descent. This whole "kill anyone who looks remotely brown in the name of patriotism" business strikes me as jingoisitic nonsense. It seems to me that brown is the new black. It used to be that black people were the ones who were blamed for everything, now that focus has shifted to the brown people. I have to wonder who is next? I mean they are already up in arms over the gays so I'm guessing that in awhile after targeting all of the minorities, people are going to start discriminating on the basis of eye color or hair color or something equally as stupid. Kind of gives a new meaning to American Idiot doesn't it?

I'm not dead

2006-09-09T19:35:00.000-04:00

For some reason I get a huge kick out of this picture. It is made out of veggies. Love it. Anyway, so I'm back into blogging action. The past three weeks have been a bit crazy, but I survived and I'm back.

The Move
The move went well. We got lots of help from MD &BD who were gracious enough to help us out after coming down off of their honeymoon high. Moving is the last thing that I would want to the weekend after my honeymoon but they came through and helped out. The Sensation's cousin and sister came and helped out too and all of those people plus the movers made for a relatively smooth day. I was bone tired at the end and we didn't have a bed so we slept on the floor but it didn't matter. By that time I would have slept standing if I could have. I think next time I'll pay for professional movers. The bootleg movers from Craigslist lost a whole bunch of our casters and screws and wheels after taking apart some of our stuff and they couldn't get my couch into the apartment. Now, you KNOW how I feel about my couch. Luckily, we were able to get some different guys to come and hoist it through the balcony window. I did a whole bunch of happy dances for that.

We slowly got things put in some kind of order and then my sister came up last weekend and helped us decorate and put things in order. I love my sister dearly and she did a great job on the house, but we can't be in the same place for more than 30 hours with no escape routes. By the end of the weekend I was past ready to put her back on a plane down South. She worked my LAST nerve. Anyway, so now our house is about 95% put together and we're unpacked and everything and I must say that I love cohabitation. It is nice to come home to someone every day and wake up with someone every morning. We have had our little tiffs here and there but it is nice to know that between both of us working and him also being in school, we will still get to see each other every day. Love it!

Things are going swimmingly on my end. I just need to land a new job and my life will be the way I want it to be. Let's think good thoughts and send good vibes so I get a new job in September!

Moving

2006-08-22T20:33:00.000-04:00

Moving day is on Saturday and I'm ready for it to be over. My already small apartment looks like it vomited boxes everywhere, my cat is oscillating between being really ingtregued by the boxes and being pissed off because the house is so chaotic and the Sensation is trying to keep me from running away to become a fairy princess. I'm elated that I'm moving but the chaos in my house is driving me nuts. C'mon Saturday!!! Actually, c'mon Sunday because then it will be all over.

The Greatest Birth Control on Earth

2006-08-14T10:04:00.000-04:00

The greatest birth control on earth is sitting on a flight with a screaming child. I flew home this weekend and on BOTH flights there were children who were horribly behaved. I endured a couple of hours of screaming, the man beside me had his seat kicked the whole way down to Florida and I kept seeing objects flung in the aisles. By the time I got to Tampa I had decided that having my tubes tied was a viable option to avoid the horrible nightmare that some children can be. Now, I understand that being on a plane for 2+ hours is not the most ideal situation for a child, but as a parent you have two options. 1) keep the child occupied or tire them out before they get on the plane so they will sleep. 2) Drive to wherever you are going so the rest of us don't have to deal with the fact that you can't control your child. When my sister was little and my family would travel I can't remember a time where my mom would let her scream uncontrollably, run around aisles or kick other peoples' seats. As SM likes to say, "when I was little my parents would tell me to go sit down and be quiet." For the most part, I feel like that is what a lot of us with "home training" were told to do. Go sit down, read a book, fall asleep, keep yourself entertained and don't show out in public. Clearly, the kids of today don't understand that. I think it might be related to all of the video games and TV being watched. It is ruining the children's ability to amuse themselves. Add that to a child's already short attention span and you get one angry Nana trying to keep from snatching a child up on a plane. I, for one, would love to see the airlines start offering "child-free" flights or "child-only" flights. I would be more than willing to pay the extra 100 bucks to fly in peace.

Chick Lit

2006-08-10T10:08:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm not sure if I'm just getting older or what, but I've decided that I can't stand chick lit. I read The Shopoholic by Sophie Kinsella back when I was in college or early law school and I thought it was decent. I've read more of her books and I'm starting to think that she is a vapid twit and so are most of her characters. I'm listening to The Undomestic Goddess right now and I am definitely taking it back to the library tonight. It will get me by for the day but I can't take it for much more. In two words, it sucks.

Later: I couldn't take it. I found an Al Franken book on my iPod and swiftly put The Undomestic Goddess back in my bag to be delivered back to the library as soon as I get home. This is one of the few times that I have ever hated a book so much to stop reading.

Disgusting Habits in the Movies

2006-08-08T09:40:00.000-04:00

I'm getting my money's worth out of Netflix lately. Last night I watched Jersey Girl, the movie where Ben Affleck plays the single dad. It wasn't a showstopper or anything, but it was sweet. Perfect for doing laundry and packing like I was doing last night. There was one thing in the movie that bothered me though. The little girl in the movie always forgot to flush the toilet and when she would go back and do it, SHE WOULDN'T WASH HER HANDS! They must have showed this little girl in the bathroom 3 or 4 times and each time she trotted out without so much as looking at the sink. I was utterly disgusted. This is why bird flu is going to kill us all, because people don't wash their damned hands! Makes you think about touching the bars on the metro doesn't it?

Wedding, Mattress and Mad Hot Ballroom

2006-08-07T11:03:00.000-04:00

This weekend was fabulous. I was a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding which was gorgeous. She had a Catholic/Hindu fusion wedding and it was marvelous. The dresses she picked for us flattered everyone and she was a beautiful bride. I also got to see the Sensation in a suit. Very hot.

Yesterday, we went mattress shopping for the move and found something we liked. Now it is only a matter of getting a good price. We went to two places and loved the salesman at one and hated the other. It is amazing how much a salesman's personality can make or break his sale.

When we got home we watched Mad Hot Ballroom. It was AWESOME!!! I had lots of favorites and I would recommend this movie to anyone.

It is Hot as Hell!

2006-08-01T07:18:00.000-04:00

Today it is supposed to be 100+ degrees outside. For all of the people who don't believe in global warming, I hope you burst into flame today. Whatever we are doing to the earth we need to stop because this heat is not the truth. Folks need to go plant a tree or something.

This weekend was fabulous. I went to go see SW and RP in NYC. It was hot there too but I had such a good time that it was worth it. We saw Leela James perform and just hung out. It has been a while since I didn't have anywhere to be. It was nice. I trained back to DC Sunday afternoon and Sunday night I went to go see Mary J. Blige. SHE WAS AWESOME! I would definitely recommend her show to people. I don't know where people are coming from when they say she can't sing. She was tearing it up onstage. A couple of people have said that the drugs were jacking up her voice, but now that she is sober and happy...girlfriend can BLOW!

Okay, I'm off to the showers. I need to go to work before I step outside and spontaneously combust. Stay cool folks!

Wednesday

2006-07-26T09:08:00.000-04:00

Last night I watched Moulon Rouge. I know, I'm kind of late, but I've been trying to watch it since it came out in theaters but each time I try I have to stop because it exhausts me. My sister claims that this movie is fabulous. Hmmph. I was impressed by Ewan McGregor's singing abilities, but if you are prone to seizures please don't watch this movie. It was total sensory overload.

It is Wednesday. I don't feel like going to work, but I'm going. I'm past ready for the move (the people upstairs were screaming and stomping around at 1 am last night) and I think that I was meant to be a fairy princess instead of living the life that I am living. I'll have to look into how I can get into the fairy princess game.

Day 9

2006-07-25T09:30:00.000-04:00

Today is day 9 without a Diet Coke. The headaches have gone away and I don't feel like choking everyone in my path anymore. It takes 21 days to break a habit so I have 12 more days to go. We'll see how the next 2 weeks go.

In other news, I went home this past weekend with the Sensation. It was good until the last 7 hours. We did very little and it was great. There was lots of napping and grazing. This weekend is going to be the weekend of concerts. In the span of 3 days I'm going to see Leela James, Goapele and Mary J. Blige. Can't wait!!

Please Hire Me

2006-07-20T19:40:00.000-04:00

Please hire me. I am a law school graduate, I work well with others and I am not immune to hard work. Please hire me. I will work harder than I have ever worked before to prove that I worth the money that you pay me if you are willing to pay a decent living wage. Please hire me. I'm a quick study and after doing what I've been doing for the past year and seven months I am yearning to write, research and do something of value. Please hire me. I will bring fun to any work environment. Please hire me. I have been out of school for two years but I'm willing to start from the bottom and work my way up. Please hire me. I'd be a really great lawyer if given a chance.

Book Recommendation

2006-07-17T20:55:00.000-04:00

I'm reading this book called Double Billing: A Young Lawyer's Tale of Greed, Sex, Lies and the Pursuit of a Swivel Chair. I picked it up on a day when I was feeling bitter about going to law school and I love it. It is really well-written and it sheds some light on the things that they dont' tell you about in law school. I'm really happy I bought it because I will probably read and re-read it. Check it out!

Weekend was good. Partied a bit, slept a bit, hung out with the Sensation a lot. Very nice. I'm working on getting more sleep. This weekend was the start of that. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.

I want the life of my cat

2006-07-11T21:34:00.000-04:00

Today was a long day and I came home and wrote out a very long ranting post. Then, blogger went down for maintenance and my post was lost. I think it was for the best, tomorrow will be better.

PS. Although I love the Sensation dearly, I have recently also fallen in love with Jason Mraz's Mr. A-Z cd. "Bella Luna" will be played at my wedding.

Monday Musings

2006-07-10T18:57:00.000-04:00

1. If you are over the age of 12 you should NEVER wear pigtails. Furthermore, if you have gray hair you definitely shouldn't have pigtails.
2. If you have a muffin top you should stay away from low-rise jeans.
3. If you are bigger than a size 2 you shouldn't wear shorts with a 2 inch inseam.
4. Weave is not for everyone.
5. Crab rangoon + Law & Order= Love.

Thanks

2006-07-06T08:33:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up and checked my blog and I had a very nice comment from Oberon. A couple of posts ago I was ranting about the Post Office and how they had lost the certified letter that I sent to my leasing office. Oberon is a postal worker and he left me a comment apologizing for the Post Office. It is 8:34 am and my day has been made because people are nice when you least expect it. Thanks Oberon.

PS. - I just checked, my letter still hasn't been delivered. Oh well, I can't be bothered about it anymore.

That Funny Feeling

2006-07-05T19:22:00.000-04:00

So lately I've had this funny feeling that I want The Sensation to be sitting on the couch when I walk through the door. This is the first time I have ever had this feeling in my life. I'm the girl who had two long-term long distance relationships and when I found a man who lived in the city was thinking, "damn, I want to get off this stupid blue couch and go home and be by myself for a while," way too often. This feeling of wanting someone waiting for me when I get home is just weird. It isn't even like we are joined at the hip. I can go out and have a great time with my girls and he can go and chill with the guys and it never fails that I want him to be there when I get home. I'm thinking this is how it is supposed to be!

The Blackout

2006-07-04T16:06:00.000-04:00

This weekend my power went out. It was fabulous. The Sensation and I lit candles, listened to Smooth Jazz on the battery-operated radio and just talked. It was really really nice.

I Think I Made a Mistake

2006-06-29T10:05:00.000-04:00

This morning I saw someone studying PMBR flashcards and I started to cry. It wasn't stomach-wrenching sobs that I was worried I would break into, it was just a couple of tears that I brushed away before anyone saw (I hope) and that feeling that you get in the back of your throat when your eyes are welling up and you are trying to keep people from thinking you are crazy. I think that I have made a mistake in the profession that I chose. I don't know any attorneys who are happy doing the work that they do and I know that I'm not happy with the work that I'm doing so if I get a real job am I going to be happy? If I had guts, I mean real cajones I would just leave the law all together and do something else, but I'm not sure what I want to do. I mean, for seven years I prepared myself for the legal profession. For the past two years I've been struggling to find a job in the legal profession and now I'm crying at the sight of PMBR cards. What I really want to do is go "find" myself but I have loans and bills and responsibilities...and no cajones. I think that law school took them and I don't know what to do.

The Post Office Sucks

2006-06-27T07:52:00.000-04:00

I was trying to be a good tenant when I sent my leasing office my notice of intent to vacate. Thinking I was covering my ass, I sent it Certified Mail. The Post Office has let me down and has lost my letter. I thought it was a bit weird when after sending my letter on a Saturday, the leasing office hadn't received it by Tuesday. The Post Office and the leasing office are less than a mile apart. I checked again today and the Post Office still hadn't delivered my letter so I called. The woman on the end was no help. She basically told me that I would have to wait until Friday because 10 days isn't long enough, the Post Office considers something lost after 14 days! FOURTEEN DAYS??!!! Thank God I also hand delivered my letter to the leasing office. This is why I pay my bills online. I want my $2.79 back because they didn't do what they were supposed to do! Yes yes yes, I know that $2.79 is not going to break me, but is the principle of the matter. Next time I'm using Fedex.

Black Stars

2006-06-23T10:23:00.000-04:00

Hooray! The Black Stars beat the United States. That is exciting to me. Now, many people are telling me, "I can't believe you are rooting for Ghana in this." Ummm, damn straight I'm rooting for Ghana. Let me tell you why.

1. Ghana is where my parents are from. Any country that has produced two people as wonderful as my parents (who I'm going to see this weekend- yay) deserves my support. Plus, in Ghana you are from the country where your mother was born, so they claim me, why can't I claim them?
2. Ghana is a place where there are NO color lines. If you are white, black, brown, Puerto Rican or Haitian Ghana will welcome you. I can't say the same for the U.S. Also, the minute that the U.S. starts instituting the draft for women, I'm headed straight to my parents' house in Accra, any one who wants to come is welcome, we have room.
3. This is Ghana's first time in the World Cup. This tiny little country in Western Africa is holding its own against the big dogs. The fact that it is a place that I know and love makes me want to bust out my Ghanaian Flag, crank up the high life music and cheer. Now, they are playing Brazil in the next round. I'm not sure how they will do, but I am so proud that they made it this far. Have a marvelous weekend! Ciao!

Endorphins

2006-06-22T08:42:00.000-04:00

Whatever they say about exercise and endorphins is true. Before this morning I was having a crappy week. I was exhausted, my body hurt and I couldn't get out of bed. I was cranky, I think I was grinding my teeth in my sleep and the thought of work made me want to cry. Yesterday I almost cursed out a group of Christian tourists at Five Guys. This morning I went to spinning and I feel ten times better. I'm dressed and ready for work, I'm going to the post office and the library before I hit the office and I just feel happy. I'm not sure if my endorphins are released by the actual spin class or for the kick-ass music my instructor plays (my favorite spinning song is the "Nobody's Supposed to Be Here" dance remix) but whatever it is I'll take it!

Meet the Parents

2006-06-18T19:18:00.000-04:00

First of all, Happy Father's Day! I wasn't able to go home and be with my Dad because of a bridal shower, but I called him this morning and sent him this HOT present that I know he will love. I also have to shout out the Ghana Black Stars who are doing quite well in the World Cup. They beat the Czech Republic yesterday 2-0!

Today was a pretty good day. I met The Sensation's grandmother, aunts and couple of his cousins. It was hard because they speak French and Creole and they speak fast. I could kind of keep up with the convo but I have to seriously bone up on my French so I can talk to everyone. I also got word that we have an apartment and we can sign a lease in two weeks. It doesn't have a washer and dryer but I compromised because we are going to be living on the top floor! Yay!

2006-06-15T23:52:00.000-04:00

1. I love TiVo
2. Britney Spears is a moron.
That is all.

Blessed

2006-06-14T22:28:00.000-04:00

I was wallowing today. I mean hardcore wallowing. Then I talked to a friend of mine and realized that my problems are trivial and that I am truly blessed. I will keep him in my prayers and as I pray, I will silently thank him for making me see that when I step back and look at the big picture, my life is actually pretty good.

Contentment

2006-06-13T21:31:00.000-04:00

This morning I woke up with Fiji on my left and The Sensation on my right. As I was lying there I realized that I loved this feeling. That's all I need, my man and my cat and maybe some diet coke. I just had this feeling that everything was right with the world. I didn't have any feelings that my weight was too high, my bills were too high, my job was boring, my apartment was too small, nothing. I just felt at peace. It was a nice feeling. Let's hope that I have this feeling more often.

I'm Still Standing

2006-06-06T10:33:00.000-04:00

I found the perfect apartment this weekend. There was much rejoicing in the land and The Sensation and I were sooo happy. Now all I had to do was tell my Dad that I was thinking of cohabitating with a man. I had already broached the subject to my mom and she said that I was a grown-up but she would prefer that we get engaged or married first. I figured my dad would say the same kind of thing, but it was extremely awkward telling my dad, the only man I've ever lived with, that I'm going to start living with another man. The conversation was okay. My dad gave his opinion and I didn't get written out of the will, so all went well. I was really nervous but after it was over I felt better and shimmied around my apartment singing Elton John, "I'm Still Standing."

Speaking of gay married men, I just have to vent about this whole Gay Marriage Amendment that the Republicans are trying to pass in the Senate. Okay, I know that it probably isn't going anywhere, but it really burns me up. First of all, who do they think they are to dictate who can get married and who can't? I mean it isn't like the gay folks want to jump on straight people and marry them, so what is the problem? Also, it seems as though the "moral" right wingers are getting caught up in sex scandals and affairs and all kinds of things nowadays. Isn't the saying you shouldn't throw stones if you live in a glass house? Also, with rate of divorce at 50% and rising, it doesn't seem like the straight people are doing a good job. Why not let gay people get married? Who knows, they might do a better job at it than "traditional" marriages.